middle-fingers up to social anxiety: my reading of sion’s “sociavoidance”

 middle-fingers up to social anxiety

<my reading of sion’s “sociavoidance”>

by desi | 데지 (intrbloo)

On June 16, 2024 one of my favorite artists and greatest inspirations, Sion Jung (정시온), released his 3rd EP project, “sociavoidance”. Consisting of 5 (and a half?) tracks and sitting just short of 20 minutes, the EP is jam-packed with ruminating themes of existence, fear, and self, packaged in electrifying alternative and experimental sounds. Truthfully, this genre (though it’s extremely limiting and inaccurate to reduce it to a singular bracket) didn’t always exist in my listening rotation, though I’ve always felt drawn to diverse sounds and blends in music, identifying particularly with any R&B-centric track. However, after discovering the mystical powerhouse that is Sion back in 2020 (?), I can say my brain has rewired how it digests and appreciates the art of music. Debuting his array of talents on The Voice of Germany in 2020, I vividly remember my mom and sister praising the young seedling, sending me video clips of his performances after I had personally uprooted to Korea. Distracted with the responsibilities of starting my own life, it wasn’t until 2022 when my subscription to Dingo’s YouTube channel blessed me with the releases of Hachiko Wing Cypher and Rising Verse, unexpectedly reintroducing me to the newly developed Sion. Witnessing the live production of tracks, the thought process behind every sound and edit, and taking part in the playfulness of creativity through Sion’s frequent livestreams has sprouted a deep respect and zeal for his blossoming artistic identity, which inspires me constantly. While his previous projects hold a special place in my heart, “sociavoidance” struck a chord deep within that made me feel seen and understood in such profound ways, that I can’t help but express my gratitude to Sion for his vulnerability and hope that he (and anyone else reading this) feel less alone in navigating tough emotions and experiences. 

themes

Challenging himself to move past the “forced” or now mildly trivial stories from his first projects, Sion found himself in a bit of a creative slump. Playing a mental game of tug-of-war, one side the easy-listening, familiar approach that could garner more predictable results, the other a scarier, mysterious route that felt more true to himself, Sion took hold of the reins and reminded himself why he loved this craft so much to begin with. “O.o,” a single released earlier this year, opens up a new chapter and unfamiliar side of the singer’s catalog, bridging the gap between his anterior sound and the new additions to his discography in this project. Sion expressed his desire to showcase a more raw version of himself through this EP, drawing from deeper parts of himself to deliver almost eerily relatable lyrics inspired by his organic thoughts and feelings. Touching on themes of anxiety, loss, and relationships this EP is not only very vulnerable, insightful, and personal, but also conceptually introspective, intransient, and ubiquitous. 

anxiety

Reflecting on my past and hearing stories about my childhood, I used to be a very carefree kid – posing for photos at any chance I got, chatting up random age-mates, and generally possessing a pretty free-spirited mindset. Sometimes it’s crazy to think that the little girl I’m looking at in a photo is the same introverted, anxious, homebody I now identify as. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it manifested, but I began having very existential thoughts, developing a deep-seated fear of death and loss, which consequently made me hesitant to establish close friendships with others. Snowball effect, this and that added together and multiplied, and eventually led to the social and general anxiety I experience today. It’s genuinely such a crazy phenomenon, how rationality can become almost meaningless in the presence of anxiety; it feels like no matter what you do to calm the gymnastics in your gut and marching-band in your chest, you’re left defenseless – a victim to your own stubborn thoughts. Anxiety can make you feel very isolated, misunderstood, overdramatic – but so many of us experience it and don’t even realize that our “irrational unease” is very much relatable. Sion tackles this subject and shares his experience with social anxiety in a couple tracks, notably “avoid!” and “incognito!”. Anxiety manifests differently in everyone, and case-by-case even looks/feels inconsistent within oneself. It’s a physical reaction, a mental tornado; a trait, a milieu; an explanation, a plea. It’s so many things at once that it feels impossible to accurately compress into a digestible picture. Instead, one’s individual relationship with mental health will conjure unique and personal interpretations of the project, and hopefully act as an embrace of community in our individual, yet united journeys with anxiety.

loss (trigger warning)

Loss, death, and suicide are heavy subjects which anchor down our hearts and tighten our vocal cords, discouraging us from discussing our feelings and experiences so as not to be “too dark or depressing”. The reality is that we all have or will experience various degrees of this in our lives, and sometimes the effects of those events affect us so deeply that they are impossible to process alone. But why should we be expected to grieve or struggle or survive on our own? Isn’t that exactly what drives so many beautiful souls to the edge? Witnessing so much loss in the vast world around us inevitably plants a seed of existentialism in us, and triggers the question if it's even worth living on this Earth anymore. Dozens of close calls, hundreds of heart-stopping text messages, and a million existential conversations… it never gets easier. Even writing this right now is deeming near impossible, as I find myself struggling to compose my thoughts in a tangible way. Life is already so fragile, and we scramble every day to make it to the other side safely, trying our best to maneuver through and around any obstacles that meet us. Tackling this beautiful unknown in partnership with its equally mysterious counterpart, Sion delivers an anecdote which serves as inspiration behind the album’s mood. Inviting listeners to understand a very intimate and personal event in his life, Sion covertly encourages us to seek a community to grieve and explore with.

relationships

As we grow up, becoming more acquainted with ourselves and what we want our lives to look and feel like, we may find ourselves having to alter our environments to support those goals. This often prompts difficult and uncomfortable conversations with those around us, people who we may have believed had our best interest in mind but were honestly just holding us back in one way or another. Relationships can be really difficult to navigate, and love, whether platonic, familial or romantic, can trigger a range of sensations, good or bad – a topic I’ve detailed in a previous project. While letting go is chiefly intimidating and complex, as noted above, sometimes it’s the necessary evil to flourish further in your own personal life journey. This doesn’t automatically mean painting those memories of friendship in black or declaring one-another as enemies – rather, it’s a recognition that you may be growing and changing in ways that once aligned but have inevitably skewed into different directions. But sometimes these partings are pessimistic; they can be frustrating, hurtful, aggravating. Sometimes it is so clear that the energy you’re putting in isn’t reciprocated, and it is extremely exhausting to chase a connection that just isn’t there anymore. Sion illustrates how he’s had to create distance with others to respect his own time, feelings and well-being, which is a very mature contrast to some lyrics on his first two EPs regarding affinity. Relationships come and go in so many compositions; maybe some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. 

album cover art

Before I get into the tracks themselves, I wanted to take a moment to appreciate the cover art for this EP, which I believe encapsulates the themes and essence of this project in some unorthodox ways. First of all the cloudy sky background reminds me of the saying “head in the clouds,” capturing the notions of both <head full, many thoughts> or <head empty, no thoughts at all> which is honestly how I feel approaching every concept highlighted above – a complex blend of overstimulation and numbness. Although there’s no fooling whether the background is artificial, the detailed folds and imperfect roughness in the tapestry is reminiscent of putting on appearances in attempts to satisfy society's expectations of us; the vibrancy of the sky’s blue portraying the effort to mask ourselves but still never being “perfect”. This is carried over in the styling, where Sion is pictured wearing a tailored suit, in line with ideologies of being “professional” and “put-together,” directly juxtaposed with the disheveled detail of one bare foot planted firmly on the ground. Notably, the missing shoe is held up to his ear mimicking a phone, which is ironic when you notice the arrangement of his other hand: actual cell phone hidden behind a mocking middle finger – the inspiration behind this piece’s title. Sion shared in his Pre-Listening Party with Seoul Therapy on Stationhead that he experiences pretty intense phone anxiety, a sentiment that I very deeply relate to. Still, we try our hardest not to let it control or define us, which is why I’d like to package this album cover art as a big “F U” to social anxiety, societal pressures and expectations, and conventionalism. 

the tracks

    I’ve listened to this album probably too many times already since its release (165 streams to be specific, according to Spotistats), and picking a favorite song is genuinely so hard. When I first heard the highlight medley and tuned in to the Stationhead listening party, I was immediately drawn to “karōshi!,” which is in fact my most streamed track of the EP. However, while preparing this project and analyzing every song individually, I fell deeper in love with each one, leaving me no choice but to title “sociavoidance” as an absolute masterpiece. The details of every lyric, each distortion, the fusion of organic and electronic sounds… simply chefs kiss. So let’s look at some of my personal highlights from each song:

(sociavoidance)

This first song is actually not a song at all (well, other than the fact that Sion laid down a scrumptious beat in the background that seamlessly blends in with the first track). Rather, it’s more of an introduction to the mood of the album and what to expect going into it. Cameoing a close friend of Sion, and a creative I’ve personally been following for quite a while, Darlene Park (please check her out, she’s so cool!), this first recording exhibits a very intimate conversation between the two which introduces the previously discussed themes. The dialogue is pretty self-explanatory, but I really admire the duo for trusting each other and the community of listeners enough to share this moment. 

avoid!

As the title suggests, this song details the notion of (social) anxiety, highlighting the impulse to run away or disappear from not only our thoughts but the people around us. I am particularly drawn to the line “anxiety a trait, not a condition,” because it underlines that while these feelings, these experiences and emotions, are a part of us, we don’t have to let it define us or weigh us down. We may find ourselves frustrated, wishing we could react or behave differently, but it’s important to be kind to ourselves. “Hurts the more you ask” is another lyric packaging the anxious experience, as we often struggle to understand a situation ourselves, let alone being able to put it into words for others to understand. The song begins describing the buzz of a phone, and while I can’t rationalize why my gut instinct is to freeze up defensively at the prospect of a phone call, having this same sentiment depicted in a song is oddly comforting. 

expired! 

As I read the lyrics to this song, I couldn’t help but feel so incredibly perceived because they translate almost perfectly to a recent personal situation. Describing the resentment and bitterness for a friendship gone wrong when you tried your best to hold on, this song will definitely resonate with a lot of people. Some of my favorite lines are: “should I set myself on fire, I just wonder why my warmth ain’t enough” and “you’re so obsessed with used to be’s, but I’m just scrambling to keep up with what I’m now”. I’ve been listening to this track a lot as a way to cope and grieve the failed friendship while reminding myself that maybe it was the necessary step toward growing into myself more.

karōshi!

The structure and production of this track immediately drew me in. An auditory representation of <not feeling human>, the details of vocal morphing and distortion, paired with the almost robotic and electric sounds weaved throughout perfectly encapsulate the themes of existentialism and loss. Additionally, the lyric “did you choose the path you thought would be the best?” linguistically mirrors this sentiment. Not to mention Sion showcasing another asset in his creative toolbox – rapping. The fusion of singing, talking (?), and rapping blend together flawlessly with the beat, in an almost imperfectly perfect way. 

incognito! 

Sion mentioned that this track is his favorite in the album, and I can completely understand why. The production and overall composition of the song is not only outside of my usual listening comfort zone, but also Sion’s artistic comfort zone – and can I just say, it sounds amazing. It represents him pushing his limits both thematically and sonically, building up to a kind of explosion of insanity. I really enjoyed this new sound from Sion, and identified with the song’s overall meaning. 

moon!

Lastly, “moon!” is the most mellow and familiar sound in this project, acting as a sort of send-off song in the EP. The celestial symbolism in the title and lyrics are so beautiful, yet describe the complex idea of existence in the world and niche spaces. Even as I write this, I feel a huge sense of imposter syndrome and wonder whether this analysis is even worth publishing amongst the millions of other talented writers. But at the end of the day, comparing ourselves to others is only productive in small doses, and just as I see this project and Sion’s whole discography as a blessing, maybe someone out there will appreciate the little words I scribbled on these pages. This song perfectly rounds out the EP lyrically, aesthetically, and symbolically, and I’m really glad Sion decided to include it after all. 

fin.

While I can never be sure I conveyed my thoughts and ideas perfectly when reviewing or analyzing any piece of art, I can confidently say that “sociavoidance” by Sion is a beautifully crafted masterpiece that deserves a lot more recognition. These are songs that not only help us grow but can also grow with us, no matter how old we are or what stages of life we’re in. If you’ve listened to the EP already I hope you agree with some of my thoughts – I’d love to hear what you think of the album too! And if you have yet to check it out, I strongly encourage you to do so, because I can guarantee you won’t regret it!